LADY CROOM What is that cowshed? NOAKES (a landscape gardener) The hermitage, my lady? LADY CROOM It is a cowshed. NOAKES Madam, it is, I assure you, a very habitable cottage, properly founded and drained, two rooms and a closet under a slate roof and a stone chimney - LADY CROOM And who is to live in it? NOAKES Why, the hermit. LADY CROOM Where is he? NOAKES Madam? LADY CROOM You surely do not supply a hermitage without a hermit? NOAKES Indeed, madam - LADY CROOM Come, come, Mr Noakes. If I am promised a fountain I expect it to come with water. What hermits do you have? NOAKES I have no hermits, my lady. LADY CROOM Not one? I am speechless. NOAKES I am sure a hermit can be found. One could advertise. LADY CROOM Advertise? NOAKES In the newspapers. LADY CROOM But surely a hermit who takes a newspaper is not a hermit in whom one can have complete confidence. * * * Tom Stoppard, Arcadia (Act Two) 1993
☙